Feeling sad and blue and lonely. All I want to do is curl up and resolve issues but it is not easy !!! If it was , would have done that long back. Some things and circumstances are beyond our control.
Life has been hectic, sad and stressful all at once. This week I have felt busy and listless and remorseful. I do not know why !!! I can’t make sense of the feeling of stressed.And being so fed up and defeated and unable to muster inspiration or resolve on this rainy gloomy day..
Supporting a depressed love one while taking care of oneself is one heck of a task. It is becoming overwhelming…
I am always dumbstruck watching Sunrises and sunsets.. They have a striking capacity to make us feel simultaneously insignificant and elevated. The aesthetic experience of watching a beautiful sunrise /sunset evokes wonder and awe at nature’s grandeur entry and exit everyday. It’s like turning a page…
The light of the setting sun casts the world in a gentle, warm orange/purple glow, I think the wavelength of the light could be an important part of our enjoyment.
For those inclined toward deep sensory appreciation, it paints the world with ever shifting shadows that mask and highlight different parts of our surroundings we may not have noticed otherwise ….
In other words a ” guaranteed show stopper”
It has angered and bewildered me many times in the past one year to wonder why us ?? What did we do to deserve this.. Have channelled my energy in seeking answers and yet have found one and only thing that has soothed my bewildered gut- PRAYERS.
And maybe it has come from watching my mother who is 83 now.
I have watched her since I was little girl. My mom pray with sincerity every single day without fail. Many a times the going got tough and yet she never wavered. Have seen her battle the worst (my dad battling cancer, my handicapped brother acting up , socially ostracized etc) and she is a living example of how faith and prayers keep one going.
While it has been far from easy, I have witnessed that faith and belief, knowing that we don’t run this world and knowing that there are reasons and a purpose behind what we see, has helped us through….. But sometimes in my bewildered state have asked HIM “why ???” Why does a beautiful girl (inside and out) suffer a life from a fractured mind ?? I guess it is his way of teaching me and giving me new insights to LIFE.
As I’ve prayed through the sufferings of my family , I’ve discovered that prayer isn’t so much a mystery to be bewildered with as it is the anchor to be secured by. Prayer, indeed, is the tether that ties us to the only One who is loving enough to listen compassionately, the only One wise enough to answer rightly, the only One mighty enough to respond.
How true !!! Where and how do we enroll to resolve all our life issues ?? Of late I have lost track of the surge of problems in my personal life. It includes my extended family in India. I wonder where do I get the necessary skills to resolve these issues …
With all the fancy technology available at our fingertips these days we should be sailing smooth in the sea of life. Yet we are all completely lost especially when it comes to dealing with our mind vs heart . There is no magic robot/tech that can give us ready made answers for dealing with matters of mind and heart. We have to wade through the tough times and make decisions as we go as there is no set of rules that all of us can follow … To each his own.
There are definitely no courses one can take. Enroll and connect with your own inner guidance.Now imagine yourself finding whatever it is that brought you to this inquiry. What does it feel like? Are you ready for this level of transformation in your life? Tune into your deepest heart’s desire… trust that you hold all the answers you need within.
As always, let your heart guide you !!
It has been 23 years since we settled in the USA.
We landed in Pittsburgh on a cold evening (blizzard) on Feb 4th 1995. We had to stay a couple of days in a hotel (Best Western ) due to the heavy snowfall and finally were transported by a friend to Marietta,Ohio on Feb 6th 1995. Our life literally started in this small town in an apartment complex called -Rivercrest Village ,County House Lane.
My husband worked for a chemical plant in WV (Sistersville) @ OSI specialities as Database administrator. We had a bunch of Indian friends who were pretty much all our age and had moved to this land of opportunity and worked for the same chemical plant. We became best pals and spent our time on weekends exploring America. This was when the IT (information technology) wave started !!
We bought our first car (Dodge Neon) and learnt how to drive . Welcomed Sanjana our first child in Parkersburg a neighboring town in West Virginia (Camden Clark memorial Hospital) and learnt the nitty gritty details of life in America.
Since then have moved and lived in different cities all over the USA. Time flies and yet I have wonderful memories of this small town and how naive I was when I first moved to the US. I was newly married and it was an amazing journey discovering the joys of marital bliss and also a new country about which I had simply read in the countless novels back in India.
I am not sure if moving to the USA was the best decision but YES it has taught me a lot and I am still learning.A DEEP current of history runs through this quiet town of 15,000 nestled in the arms of the Ohio and Muskingum Rivers. Here are some pictures I downloaded from Google of this small and historic town.
For most of my life, I have believed that because things have been a certain way for a long time that they will continue to be that way, forever and ever …. The truth is, I know NOTHING.Things could change for better or for worse in an instant. A lesson I have learnt in the last one year .
To me, a bend in the road symbolizes a change in direction. Births, deaths, illness, triumphs, defeats, all bends along the path called LIFE. In life, there are seldom clear-cut beginnings, yet there are moments when fate intersects with our daily lives, setting in motion a sequence of events whose outcome we could never have foreseen.
I don’t know what lies around this bend, but I’m going to believe that the best does ….. ( From Anne of Green Gables)